The stories of moving on and getting out.

New Journal

2005-11-22T03:33:19Z

I've officially changed journals. My new journal is aeroplaneashes. I probably won't be adding any more people, but I needed to make a public post, to acknowledge my move haha.

aeroplaneashes
aeroplaneashes
aeroplaneashes

I cannot stop listening to this song...

2005-11-10T11:40:56Z

So teach me of trust or treachery;
Or maybe hypocracy.
And I'll teach you a lesson.
About a fragile state of being
Of a bound and bleeding heart.

And now I need this...
Please, Please just say anything.
Everyone's fake.
Everything is fake.
Everything is fake.

I hope they're happy, I really do...

2005-11-07T03:10:26Z

CUT;

__loststar
br0ken_x_mirr0r
ficti0n__welive
chacokisses1
chefchip
decimaster321
fallingaway__x
xnobrainer4lyfx
sunshiningme
rxfireinside
rainbow_booger
loser_n_proud7

Just comment if you want to be added back,
Or if you want me to take you off my list.

TOP COMMENTS;

NEW & OLD

RECENTLY;
Friday night! I went to the Thin Dark Line show. Bryan is SUCH A HOTTIE now. Seriously! He seriously looks so cute. It's like awww, Bryan! hahaha. The show was awesome! Bryan pulled me up on stage to sing Powers of Ten!

Saturday! I got my permit, and went driving for the first time! It was also me and Ryan's two month anniversary! YAY!

Sunday! I got my homecoming dress. It's purple. I got the shoes to go with it.

STRESSING;
My Party! Is way more trouble than it's worth I swear. I have an idea though. It'll cost me more, but it'll solve everything.

Grades! Well I can stop stressing, because I did pretty good this quarter. I know I could have done better, and I will next quarter like I always do. I GOT A B in ENGLISH!!

Classes! Yea, so I might need 8.5 credits next year. Which just ISN'T possible. So I have to fix that, somehow, and I can't even take AP Psych! (That was my only elective!)

AP Calc I
AP Calc II
AP Econ
AP British Lit
AP Spanish V
AP Bio
Music Tech
Women's Chorus
Health (Half Credit)

College! Gonna run track now, volunteer, and tutor. I need a nice resume. I know that I want to major in Public Relations and minor is Information Tech, or Web Design. I want to go to NYU or Penn State, but stay in MD @ Towson U for a year. Reason for the 8.5 credits is because NYU recommends 3 years of foriegn language.

LATER;

Friday! Hanging out with (younger) Adam. We're gonna make Turkeys! Hahah BFFs! :-p

Saturday! Homecoming and TDL & DOY show at SJH. I dunno how I'm gonna pull off going to both haha.

Next Friday! Going to see Harry Potter with Adam. Yay! HP!!!

Next Saturday! Big show at St. John's Hamilton with The Hint and ATL.

CHRISTMAS;

I have no clue what I want for Christmas. Someone give me suggestions, please! I don't want an MP3 player. I know what little things I want but not big things.

Blank CDs
Books
Movies
Clothes!!
Picture Frames
Christmas Cards!
Mix CDs
Belts

Yea, I think I'll just get money from my 'rents. I don't really have anything I want. Maybe a Sims 2 Expansion Pack. (University or Night Life?)

I'm reall excited for Christmas, and snow. I don't really know why. Just like right now I'm loving the falling leaves. I think they're so pretty. I want to watch a bunch of Christmas movies!

FEELING;

I feel... so wierd. All the time. I hate it. It's because I'm stressed out. Over stupid, unimportant shit. But I'm still stressed. Whatever. I used to think i was so selfish for feeling stressed about stupid shit, but at the end of Perks of Being a Wallflower Charlie says I know that kids are starving, and thats horrible, but I still feel bad, that doesn't make me feel any better. No matter what it won't make me feel better, I just have to wait to feel better.

SPEND MY TIME;
Reading. I read alot now. I don't spend that much time on the computer anymore really. Nothing to do. I sleep alot too. I don't do anything. I look up colleges, and get info sent, and I'm on collegeboard.com & careeroutlookguide.com everyday. It's pitiful. Ahhh, well....

WHATEVER

We accept the love we think we deserve...

2005-11-04T03:50:27Z

A Person, A Paper, A Promise

by Dr. Earl Reum

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines he wrote a poem.
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three a.m. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen.

I'll comment this weekend.

2005-10-28T10:29:17Z

Back To California

How long I’ll wait
Just to say goodbye
Ten different ways to enjoy this night
Can’t do this anymore
Won’t feel you anymore

How long I’ll wait
Just to say goodbye
You could never let me in
Holding on until the end

The time I waste just to say goodbye
Out of your way
I could do this right
Can’t see you anymore
Won’t feel you anymore

How long I’ll stay
Just to say goodbye, say goodbye

Leave it all the fights and all
Summer’s getting colder
Drive all night to hold you tight
Back to California
Days went by
We waited and I guess we’re getting older
We couldn’t win in the end

You’re gone
I’m miles away
Turning out your lights
Ten different ways I could end this night
Can’t do this anymore
Won’t feel you anymore

How long I’ll wait
Just to say goodbye, say goodbye

Leave it all the fights and all
Summer’s getting colder
Drive all night to hold you tight
Back to California
Days went by
We waited and I guess we’re getting older
We couldn’t win in the end

You’re gone=

My throat hurts...

2005-10-22T04:51:50Z

So I just came back from the My CHemical Romance, Alkaline Trio, and Reggie and the Full Effect Show. And I definetly got an autograph from THE LEAD SINGER of ALK 3! YES, I am about 93309784 times cooler than you. Today was an interesting day. Tomorrow I'm in for a fun-filled day of TONY HAWK'S AMERICAN WASTELAND!! And I have to call Dixon. And I need to talk to Kristy about something really important.

Right now, considering I haven't eaten in 15 hours, I'm gonna eat then go to sleep. Better update tomorrow. N pics though.

I'm gonna add to this list...

2005-06-16T22:19:23Z

I want a boy...

That doesn't fall in love easily

That dresses nicely... nvm, I want a boy who wears band t's and hoodies.

That's smarter than me.

That asks odd questions.

That won't buy me flowers, but buys me icecream and rents my favorite movie.

That doesn't like talking on the phone

That has better taste in music than I do.

That would fight for me, even though I wouldn't let him fight.

That would never use me, or hit me.

That's a really good kisser.

That thinks I'm beautiful

That'd walk me home in the rain.

That can quote Fight Club and Good Will Hunting

That has a pretty smile

That would tell me if I looked like shit

That would never cheat on me

That'll tell me when I need to shut the fuck up but will listen to me ramble anyway.

That gives good advice

That thinks he's tough, but really isn't.

That likes good books and movies.

That's a huge flirt.

That'll say, look at that girl over there, she's hot, without worrying that I'll get mad.

That'll tell me he loves me, and mean it.

That likes to play video games.

That would take picture with me :-)

That would go to shows with me, or better yet, give me a good reason not to go.

That can make me feel better when I'm sad.

That'll take me places

That has a girl as his best friend

That would just hold me.

That makes fun of me.

That acts arrogant, and cocky but is really self-coniscious

That looks good in a suit

That'll ask me how I'm feeling, not just what's up.

That won't yell at me when I say I'm ugly or fat but will ignore me.

That can cook, since I suck at it.

That kisses and tells

That's really cute. (Yea, I'm shallow so what?)

That's a good listener.

That offers to buy me things, even though I won't let him.

That isn't perfect.

That likes me as much as I like him, but would never admit to it.

Now really... is that too much to ask for?